If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
well you can't waste a boner
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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