So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
