He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Help. Why am I so naked?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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