he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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