the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize