I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want to make a zoo with you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
