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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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