Pappa wants mamma naked
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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