if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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