the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
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I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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