I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
