and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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