one might say we're banned from that church
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
