when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
