dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
