i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So vagazzling was a success
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
