Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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