Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
