last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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