Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
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I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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