I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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