you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
