it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
