He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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