Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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