think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
