Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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