...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
