So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
