Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
