Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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