i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
