I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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