I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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