there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
