R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize