Don't you send me to vm
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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