I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize