Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
