Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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