I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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