i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
