when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
