Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
