My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
