So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
