i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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