two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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