You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
