Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
