I just saw a hot homeless man
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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