I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
