So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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