Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
