There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
