YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
