Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
