would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
