Having a random hookup so left but love u
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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