so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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