i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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